boom snap clap

As the daylight faded and the heat began to sizzle out of the Mauritanian air, I sat on the ground with my new friend Abdughai. He tends to come around our courtyard at dinner time to eat with us – and to make us laugh. At 13-years-old he has an explosive personality. He always has something to say, and though our conversations are stunted by our broken French, we have no problem finding something to giggle about. This particular night I was showing Abdughai a hand clap called “Boom, Snap, Clap” (shout out to OTR summer day-camp pre-teen girls for instilling those skillz). I would show him a section and have him repeat it; smack the chest, snap the fingers, clap the hands in a rhythmic beat. He sat facing me with determination in his eyes, stretching out a dirty yellow polo three sizes to big over his knees. “Un, deux, trois…” Again and again we beat out the rhythm, laughing at his mistakes and cheering at success. My host mom was stretched out beside us, lazily lying on her side observing my crazy antics once again. She laughed at our game and would occasionally call my name, trying to imitate the hand clap, but failing miserably. Eventually Abdughai succeeded and we celebrated with a victory dance (above all Abdughai loves to dance) and washed our hands to eat.
I still can’t figure out the complex structures of support here, but I have discovered a whole village does indeed raise a child. There always seem to be children here and there, brothers and sisters in and out, and visitors that end up staying for days. My host mom Hadij takes it all in stride, accepting visitors with ease – Bismillah means welcome, and in Mauritania it is the unquestionable way of life. This type of acceptance and sharing splits off into a rather odd direction, a behavior which I encounter every day. That is, the complexities surrounding “donne-moi”. Give me. Give me this and that and – oh – that too. It is something I know I will have to get used to here, as it slightly grinds my pride and extends just beyond my realm of cultural normalcy. It happens as I walk down the street and a woman shouts “give me your skirt!”, or in my home when Hadij sees my crazy American things “I loooooooove this! Give it to me!”. It’s everywhere. Even my language facilitator Jiddou, who teaches me French 6 hours a day isn’t withheld from asking me and my classmates for medicine for his awful toothache. The persistent “donne-moi” makes one feel slightly objectified. Yet – this begging doesn’t come without reason. My mirror, shoes and Peace Corps issued medical kit are mesmerizing to someone who lives in a society where everyone has the same things. Variety isn’t really a common word around here. The local market sells one laundry soap, one bucket (for bathing, laundry and kitchen use), one type of tea class… etc. The colors may vary, but the items are lackluster. This combined with a lifestyle that seems to draw from socialism creates a pardon when it comes to asking for others property. Looking closely, I see that this doesn’t solely apply to me, but to everyone in their culture. I heard Hadij ask a visitor of ours once for money. She later debriefed me that he had “beaucoup de l’argent” and could probably spare some.
This asking doesn’t go without giving. I sat with my host mom one afternoon as we ate her delicious fried fish, rice and veggie plate called Chebugen and talked about families. After a long, slightly hilarious conversation where I explained where Missouri was and why I had family in Belize, she told me about her family that live in the capital, Nouakchott. She explained to me that she had an older sister and brother and a mother. Her dad passed away in 2005 and because she has no children as her siblings do, her income goes straight to her mother, who is unemployed. Her Peace Corps issued money falls into many hands. This combined with the many visitors and children that make their way into our courtyard doesn’t make living easy. After many conversations about money and the complexities of the American dream, Hadij still believes she can become an exquisite chef in the USA, but has slightly eased up on asking me for my things. She shook her stirring spoon at Abdughai the other night when he asked me for 200 UM (equivalent to 90 cents) telling him to stop because I have no money. Hearing her yell at Abdughai was a great moment, not only because it sent Abdughai into a ‘you-can’t-catch-me-with-that-spoon’ dance, but also because I think we are beginning to understand eachother.
Last night I lay underneath the stars as Saalem made his rounds of tea and the whirring background of Hassaniya filled my head. I wrote in my journal and shooed the family goat away from my paper. Hadij asked what I was doing and I explained to her the best I could that it was for writing stories and letters. She took my journal from my and gazed at my scribbled English. With a click of her tongue she disapproved of my language preference and asked to write in my journal the “right way”. I laughed and passed over my book, opening to a fresh page. Hadij proceeded to write me a letter in Arabic showing me each word and explaining what it meant. Basically, it was a blessing on my name. The journal page then turned into an Arabic lesson as she drew different animals found in Mauritania and had me write the French name next to the Hassaniya name. We laughed, our heads crowded over the journal, when she tried to sketch a lizard, which turned into more of a snake.
My host mom and I are coming to a balance. Like every situation we have our good and bad days, but most bad days indicate a lack of cultural understanding between us. Each day, a small step, I begin to delve into the complexities – and when things do get rough, you should know that Mauritania has some really delicious mangos.